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Post by helen on Mar 28, 2012 4:41:53 GMT -5
My brother and I plan to go on April 3rd to dad's gravesite for Quing Ming Festival in Brooklyn, NY. We saw the buses arrive from the Chinatown Association and perform a ritual under the Archway last year, but at that time we had no idea what it was about. , Linda Please go to Ching Ming - It's important, not only for your ancestors, but to meet others who may help you along your journey. Remember that each of us has walked the same path as you - and we have all taken a long time to be where we are now. If you take a small step, and ask for help - you will get there as well. Please do not give up now - our elders are passing on in big numbers, and soon it will be too late. Please have the courage to continue your journey. We will be there to assist you if you need us.
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Post by Dennis on Mar 28, 2012 22:02:14 GMT -5
This is a very interesting topic. Westways did an article about the Seto family name several years ago in which I still have. Westways is a magazine that Automobile Club of Southern California (AAA) puts out.
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Post by FayChee on Mar 29, 2012 1:19:57 GMT -5
Wow, I would really like to read that article, are you able to upload it or attach it to an email and send it to me? LMurak@aol.com
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Post by Dennis on Mar 29, 2012 19:26:18 GMT -5
lmurak, I will try to find that article and send it to you. I am a Seto, my grandfathers name was James Pung Sau Seto and my great grandfathers name was Ah Doi Seto.
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Post by Doug 周 on Mar 31, 2012 15:39:06 GMT -5
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Post by FayChee on Mar 31, 2012 21:07:18 GMT -5
Thanks Doug,
It took me about 10 trys, but I finally got a working link to my photos. Now I have a domain name for 2 years (SetoFamily.US) and don't need it. Maybe I'll think of something to do with it. Oh yeah, now I have to learn how to start a New Topic.....
Linda
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Post by FayChee on Apr 1, 2012 15:53:46 GMT -5
When I go to my dad's gravesite for Ching Ming, I would like to leave a card asking anyone who may know my relatives to contact me, can anyone write this (or something similar) in chinese character so that I can 'cut & paste' it onto my card? Thanks, Linda
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Post by Doug 周 on Apr 5, 2012 11:59:08 GMT -5
Linda, A recommended reference from one American Born Chinese to another: Rosemary Gong's Good Luck Lifeclick ISBN 0060735368. BTW: I thoroughly enjoy your sharing the journey into your Chinese family heritage research.
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Post by geoff on Apr 5, 2012 15:23:52 GMT -5
Linda,
Thank you for your description of your first Ching Ming to your father's grave. The "lawn cemetery" style looks so neat & tidy. I'm so glad you both went & you'll have this day to remember forever. You must copy the above experience to your family history....as well as the photos you took yesterday. I hope this will become a regular event & other members of your family join you.
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Post by helen on Apr 5, 2012 16:37:39 GMT -5
Yesterday we had Ching Ming at the Evergreens Cemetery in Brooklyn, NY. Thank you everyone for your encouragement and tips on giving dad his Ching Ming. Nice story - Thank you for sharing. Your did well. We won't have a chance to go together as a family until next week. PS We have decided to leave Auckland early in the morning to go down to my Grandfather's and parent's graves - about 5.5 hours drive. Have got BBQ pork, Roast Pork, 3 bowls of rice, fruit, 3 cups for tea, 3 cups for wine, joss sticks, and home grown flowers. After that we will travel another 2 hours to see my husband's grand aunty - aged 96.
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Post by laohuaqiao on Apr 5, 2012 23:33:38 GMT -5
Linda, I think it's wonderful that you are asking these questions. I've been following my father to the cemetery since I was a kid and copying the rituals without thinking or ever asking why.
The 2 pieces are part of the "money" package and are placed on top of the tombstone held down by a rock to form an "X". My guess is it's another form money offering to the deceased, but I will find out for sure and post the answer here.
I'm not sure if you did it this time, the flowers you bring can be planted around the tombstone. Bring a small garden shovel to dig out an area for the flowers, place the flowers in and use the shovel to repack the dirt. Each year, if the flowers from previous years survive, leave them alone and plant new flowers around them.
The hard-boiled eggs are part of the food offering/sharing with the deceased. After the eggs are eaten, the shells can be strewed around the flowers, or buried in the dirt around the flowers. The eggshells will decompose and they are a good source of minerals for the flowers. I think people use eggshells with their backyard gardens too.
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Post by FayChee on Apr 6, 2012 9:21:00 GMT -5
Yesterday we had Ching Ming at the Evergreens Cemetery in Brooklyn, NY. It went rather well, although we had to improvise and make up what we thought we should do. Thank goodness for the helpful tips we were given on this forum. The night before I went to an Asian Grocery store and bought almost everything having to do with Ching Ming, but the most important thing I didn't get (I didn't know what it was), was a package of rectangular yellow sheets of paper, that I believe must have been prayer papers. There were alot of these papers spread on top of headstones and anchored by a nice large round stone. I was mortified that I did not have any to put on dad's headstone and was almost tempted to 'borrow' a few, but didn't. No other people were around, so we could not ask about the papers. The 'ready pack' of Ching Ming items that I had purchased at the Asian store, had some square yellow papers with a central golden emblem in the center, so I used these as the prayer papers and put them on the headstone. From the look of things, the Chinatown Association had already come out for Ching Ming this past weekend. While my brother cleaned and repositioned dad's headstone, I wandered around the cemetery taking pictures and exploring. When I returned, everything was ready for lighting of incense sticks, candles, and offerings. A strong wind was blowing non-stop, and although we read a notice posted in the Administration building warning visitors not to light fires or leave food in the cemetery, it did not deter us from honoring our father....we did it anyway, even with the anticipation that grounds keepers would drive up and give us a good scolding. We saw a used 'burning can' nearby and borrowed it for the burning of the ' [/img]hell' and 'heaven' money, and we improvised several methods of bowing that we had seen on TV (it was funny and I laughed at the thought of someone observing us nearby). My brother received many burns on his hands from accidently brushing against the burning incense sticks as he adjusted the flowers. After eating a cookie and tangarine, and mumbling 'prayers' which we made up de novo, we walked around the winding paths, enjoying the beauty of the grounds, sunshine, and beautiful historic headstones. After two hours, we felt satisfied that dad was given the best Ching Ming ever in our lifetime, and vowed that it would so much better next time. Thank you everyone for your encouragement and tips on giving dad his Ching Ming.
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Post by FayChee on Apr 6, 2012 9:22:10 GMT -5
Thanks Doug, Geoff and Helen for your kind comments on my first Ching Ming. I was hoping that someone could confirm if those pieces of yellow rectangle paper was indeed representing prayers or something else? I went to the book link Doug and reviewed the section under Qing Ming, but it did not go into detail about the various things. We saw alot of egg shells scattered around headstones, and I told my brother that maybe they cracked open raw eggs and left the shells behind, but his suggestion was probably correct in that he thought they were hardboiled eggs that someone ate and left the shells behind.......
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Post by FayChee on Apr 6, 2012 9:30:41 GMT -5
laohuaqiao Thanks for explaining the egg shells....we later planted the live rosebush, and just left the cut flowers.
In case anyone notices, I have modified some of my posts, as my email account was hacked and emails sent with my screenname to everyone in my address book. I've spent my morning trying to rectify this. That's life, but you just keep on living.......
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Post by FayChee on Apr 28, 2012 14:35:59 GMT -5
Dear Members, I have not posted in awhile and want to update you on my search for my Chinese relatives and my father's Ancestral Village.
If it were not for this forum, I would never have found them. I am thankful for the help of members in the New York area where my family lived. Linda
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