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Post by Henry on Jan 24, 2010 7:52:51 GMT -5
Dear Colleagues,
For those of you that are very interested in Chinese cemetery studies, please contact Terry Abraham - and he will add you to the mailing list of this study group:
tabraham@moscow.com
They circulate some very interesting information about Chinese funeral practices.
Henry
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Post by helen on Jan 25, 2010 0:16:24 GMT -5
Ah Gin - we usually go 2 times a year. In front of the headstone we serve 3 small bowls of rice, 3 small cups of tea, 3 small cups of wine, 3 oranges, 3 apples; Then for the spirits and the people who come - we have roast pork, 1 white steamed whole chicken - with head and feet; a vegetarian dish, BBQ bao; 1 fish. fresh flowers. Then we bow 3 times with joss sticks. And after that we each pour some of the tea and some of the wine; refilling each time they are emptied.
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Post by helen on Jan 25, 2010 0:19:19 GMT -5
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Post by chansomvia on Jan 26, 2010 3:11:02 GMT -5
The funeral ceremony for the eight Chinese UN workers killed in the earthquake in Haiti was shown live on Chinese TV, it was a State funeral and every top Chinese leader was present. It was very dignified, all leaders wore similar black suits with a white flower, all bowed the three bows in unison, but I did not see the whole ceremony. But it prompts me to put in my two cents worth in this forum.
My lasting impression on attending the first "Chinese" funeral was that it was very different from the Christian, Muslim and Indian funerals I attended. There could have been quite a few things that I did or said inadvertedly that was not the norm at the Chinese funeral. After attending many more funerals I found that the do's and the dont's differed between Chinese of different beliefs and religions, differed by clans and languages, differed by tribes, and also by how simple or elaborate the ceremony was made out.
I have however been left with the consolatory words of the bereaved family and the officials conducting the ceremony, who saw a greenhorn stumbling about, by informing me very politely and confidently, that whatever I did which was what should have or should have not been done will be accepted when done with ignorance: acting without knowing the ritual or protocol was overlooked as they knew one took the trouble to come to pay respect.
I hope this puts to rest any feeling of embarassment should one do something unintentional which may not have followed the protocol at the ceremony. Each ceremony is different, each celebrant is different, each association is different, I could put down a current list of do's and dont's, it is the person turning up and paying the respect which matters. The list is never ending.
This is a delicate matter which should be handled with respect and understanding.
Joe
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Post by chansomvia on Jan 26, 2010 3:14:10 GMT -5
My blooper .... I meant I was told confidentially and not "confidently" Apologises. Joe
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Post by elumhawaii on Jan 27, 2010 13:47:30 GMT -5
Customs observed here in Hawaii by the Chinese community for Taoist services: - People born on specific years do not attend the funeral. - Burning of gum ngung (Chinese paper money) before, during and after the service. - Lunch provided to people attending the funeral after the service - Not wearing clothes which have the color red - Not going to social events immediately after attending a funeral service. - li see (money wrapped in red) and candy given to people who attend service and another li see at grave site. - Washing eyes and stepping over fire before entering you house after the funeral. - 30 day mourning period for the immediately family. Not participating in any social events for this period. - Attendees carry a "boo look" (pommel) leaf with them and discarded after the service before going to your home. - effigy of a male and female to represent servants burned at the grave site. Effigy of a house and horse is optional. - Attendees are asked to turn away during closing of coffin lid and while coffin is lowered into the grave site.
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Post by Ah Gin on Jan 27, 2010 16:27:23 GMT -5
Thanks Henry for the URL.
elumhawaii, the protocol you posted was used by us at one stage or other as well. The protocol was applied in a Cantonese as well as a Hokkien funeral. So there is something common with the Chinese.
Where we cannot get the pamelo leaf (as pamelo tree is not a common citrus tree grown in Australia), we use kumquet or mandarin tree leaf as substitute. We also use cypress leaf (in Cantonese "pak", a common tree grown by the Chinese or Italian -- maybe Marco Polo learned it from us? )
We had the "Cross the Fire" ceremony as well, but at the cemetery before we leave for our home journey.
In San Francisco, we normally serve a meal (lunch or early dinner) after the funeral. The restautant knows what to order, ie it's never a 10 course meal, but an odd number of courses. The menu does not include "sweet" or desert, for obvious reasons.
By the way, at Ching Ming, in San Francisco, we bring along hard boiled egg, Pak Tong Kou (white sugar steamed rice cake), boiled chicken, and of course roast pork (in fact a complete roast pig).
Regards, Ah Gin
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Post by helen on Feb 19, 2010 17:19:28 GMT -5
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Post by Doug 周 on Mar 31, 2010 13:13:02 GMT -5
I don't want to dwell on the public health issues of human tissue in riverine systems or possible infanticide. However, this follow up article on the discovery of dead babies along a river in China made some statements I have not heard about. www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/03/31/AR2010033101304.htmlquotes from the article: However, the death of a young child is considered bad luck among some rural families, and the body is often abandoned or buried in unmarked graves.
"According to customs in some places, dead infants are not considered to be a family member and will not be buried in family tombs," said Cao Yongfu, professor with Medical Ethic Institute of Shandong University. from another paragraph: Some local customs go even further. When a baby dies, the family burns its clothes, toys and photos - anything that would remind them the child ever existed. The traditions stem from China's agrarian past, where child deaths were common, and not considered something to dwell on.
Has anyone every heard of these customs? My interest is not because of morbid curiosity; as I research my genealogy, there are infant deaths among my ancestors and contrary to some in modern American culture, there are no names attached to these children.
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Post by Woodson on Mar 31, 2010 18:14:52 GMT -5
Doug,
I suspect the treatment varies from local to local and family to family. It is not a clean-cut one size fits all. Many Chinese genealogy records have the notation "Died early" under a name. The common practice was to adopt an offspring of a brother or cousin to carry on that line.
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Post by helen on Apr 1, 2010 2:20:15 GMT -5
I came across a family whose baby son died early. They had another son, and he was dressed as a girl, so the evil spirits would not take him away. The boy came to NZ dressed as a girl, and apparently it affected his well being in later life.
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Post by douglaslam on Apr 1, 2010 6:36:47 GMT -5
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Post by Henry on Apr 1, 2010 17:38:51 GMT -5
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