Looking for long lost relative

[tchow]

Greeting everyone! I am a new member of this community. I have a unique problem. I live all my life
with an unresolved question in my mind. It laid dormant for 50 years. The seed was plant by my mother when I was but a child. She think it was important to tell me that my father was adopted (her words was purchased) by grandfather around the time of the xinhai revolution. Details was very few , the info was passes to her by grandma, who passes away during the Sino Japanese war before my birth. Now in 2011, on the eve of the 100th anniversary of the emergence of modern China I have a all consuming need to find out who I am. I am connected by the revolution. And event way before my birth, if the revolution did not happen, there would be no me. In the alternate reality my father would have a different life and I would not be me. I am hoping there is someone out there looking for a long lost uncle , looking for a missing spot on their family tree. Here is a go at it in traditional Chinese.
Œ¤ÕÒ ¸¸ ÓH 1911 ÐÁ º¥ ¸ï ÃüÇ°µÄͯ Äê

1911 Äê µÄ ÖÐ ‡ø ÐÁ º¥ ¸ï Ãü •r ÆÚ ÖÐ, é_ ƽ ÖÜ ¼Ò ÊÕ ðB ÁË Ò» ‚€ Îå šq ´ó µÄ С º¢ . ááí, ðB ¸¸ Ž§ ͬ С º¢ ÒÆ Ãñ ¼Ó Äà ´ó. С º¢ éL ´ó áá ³É ¼Ò Á¢ ÊÒ, Óý ÓÐ ƒÉ ‚€ ƒº ×Ó, Ïí ýg ¾Å Ê® ¶þ . ß@ ‚€ СÛò ÊÇ ¼Ò ¸¸, ÎÒ ÅÅ ÐÐ µÚ ¶þ. ÔÚ ¼Ó Äôó éL ´ó ºÍ ½Ó ÊÜ ½Ì Óý . °Ö °Ö ÔÚ ÊÀ •r, Ëû µÄ Ò» ÇÐ ËÆ ºõ ²» ¥Ê ·Ö ÖØ Òª, Òò žéÎÒ Ã¿ Ìì ÒŠ µ½ Ëû, ÎÒ ÓÐ ÎÒ ×Ô ËÈ µÄ ÊÀ ½ç. ¸¸ ÓH Ôç Ž× Äê ÒÑ È¥ ÊÀ. ÎÒ é_ ʼ ÓÐ ²» °² µÄ ¸Ð ÓX . ¸¸ ÓH µÄ Éú ¸¸ ÊÇ Õl, ÎÒ ±¾ í ÊÇ Ê² üN ÐÕ ÊÏ ? ÎÒ ÓЛ] ÓÐ ¼Ò ×å ÈÔ È» ÔÚ ÖÐ ‡ø »ò ÔÚ Æä Ëû·½ , ʲ üN žÄ º¦ Ôì ³É Ëû Ä Ëû µÄ ¼Ò Í¥ ±» ·Ö ëx, Õæ Ïà ÔÚÄÇ Ñe ? Ò» ¶¨ ÓÐ ÈË Öª µÀ Æä ÖÐ ŠW ÃØ . Ì« ¶à µÄ †– î} Ðè Ë£ ´ð °¸ . ¼Ò ¸¸ Îå šq ´ó Ç° µÄ Ò» ÇÐ ÎÒ Öª µÀ µÄ ²» ¶à, Ö» Öª ÊÇ í ×Ô Ò» ‚€ С ¿µ Ö® ¼Ò , ÓÐ ÔS ¶à ³É †T , ®” Ëû ²» é_ ÐÄ µÄ •r ºî Ëû ¾Í Äà Öø Ëû µÄ ÍÏ Ð¬ ˆÔ ³Ö Òª »Ø ¼Ò, ‘ª Ô“ ²» ÊÇ Ò» ‚€ ±» ’ —‰ µÄ º¢×Ó Ò» °Ù Äê áá µÄ ½ñ Ìì ÐÁ º¥ ¸ï Ãü Ò» °Ù Äê áá ÎÒ é_ ʼ ×· Œ¤ ¸¸ ÓH Õæ Õý µÄ Éí ÊÀ ß@ ÊÇ Ò» ‚€ ·Ç ³£ À§ ëy µÄ ‡L Ô‡ µ« ÊÇ Èç ¹û²» é_ ʼ, ÐÄ ½Y ÓÀ ßh ½â²» é_ ´ó ¼Ò ŽÍ ŽÍ æ Èç ÈÎ ºÎ ÈË ÓРЊϢ Œ¦ ËÆ ÉÏ ÓÐ ŽÍ Öú Õˆ ÔÚ ±¾ ‰¯ Áô ×Ö ÖÐ Ó¢ ÎÄ ¾ù ºÃ ·Ç ³£ ¸Ð ¼¤ ÈÎ ºÎ ÓÐ Óà µÄ ½¨ ×h Öx Öx

[Henry]

Hi tchow,

Welcome to our Forum,

Please provide the following and perhaps we can assist you in finding your ancestral village in China - where you may be able to recover a copy of the village genealogy book and discover if you have any blood relatives still living in the village. The village genealogy book would not only document your family/clan lineage, it would also verify the relationships of these relatives:

1 province name

2 county name

3 Chinese name of father, grandfather, great grandfather

4 Chinese name of ancestral village and name of nearest larger market town

This information may be available from the gravestone, documents, letters, relatives.

Good Luck !


Henry

[tchow]

thanks for the fast response, Henry, I lived the first 10 years of my life in the ancestral village. I remembered even catching frogs in the village pond. but that is the village of the family that raised my father. my father could have been abducted from anywhere and sold to my grandparents. I needed to know if there is a family that lost a 5 year old son in the aftermath of the revolution. and compare photos. didn't I said my problem was uniqueand difficult. I'll try to come up the name of the village.

[tchow]

Hi Henry! back again, the place I was born and spend 10 years before leaving for Canda for goods is V –| é_ ƽ “ ½­ Àï , the members from this village and related villages who has he last name zhau has an adult name ×Ö that follows this phrase µÀÔÚÌ쌢ÎÄÎä my grandfather generation would has a ×Ö that starts with, father's generation would start with ÔÚ, I would get another name ×Ö that starts with Ìì if I would have stay in China to adulthood, which I did not because of the cultral revolution in China. all these does not apply to me, I am not really one of them. my mother make sure of that by telling me that dad was not really a ͬ when I was still a child. my brother's wife confirmed the story that my mother did told me.
she must have a good reason to tell me at that age.

[Henry]

Hi tchow,

With this part of your family's generational poem and the village name - you would probably need to have some research done in your ancestral village to see if anybody knows about your father's adoption and also if this was recorded in the village genealogy book.

To my surprise, the village genealogy book showed that my maternal grandfather was adopted and also indicated who was the biological father.

In order to do this sort of research, you would need to hire my nephew in Taishan to do the research. If you are interested in following through on this, please contact me at this email:

[e-mail]


Henry

[laohuaqiao]

tchow,
I just want to address the feeling of "not really one of them" that is bothering you, a somewhat different viewpoint from yours

We have previously discussed in this forum, before 1950, for a combination of factors, there was a high rate of male adoption in the Siyi region, in some villages the number could be as high as 1 out of every 2 male children. I don't have any doubt that the adopted male children were accepted by others as their own, with all the rights of inheritance due to the males born to the family.

In the early days of PRC, during the agrarian reforms, the government discouraged adoption and encouraged the adopted children to voluntarily return to their biological family. I don't know how successful that policy was, but none of my relatives who were adopted chose to do so.

I came across 2 recent cases, married young men who left the wives at home with no children and went overseas. Both wives later adopted sons to carry on the family name at home while the husbands remarried overseas and raised another family. Both cases the adopted sons married and had children. Years later the grandsons immigrated to America, they had not forgotten their "grandfather" and made efforts to travel across country to him or at least locate his grave to pay their respect.

[tchow]

Aug 8, 2011 12:43:42 GMT -5 laohuaqiao said:

tchow,
I just want to address the feeling of "not really one of them" that is bothering you, a somewhat different viewpoint from yours

We have previously discussed in this forum, before 1950, for a combination of factors, there was a high rate of male adoption in the Siyi region, in some villages the number could be as high as 1 out of every 2 male children. I don't have any doubt that the adopted male children were accepted by others as their own, with all the rights of inheritance due to the males born to the family.

In the early days of PRC, during the agrarian reforms, the government discouraged adoption and encouraged the adopted children to voluntarily return to their biological family. I don't know how successful that policy was, but none of my relatives who were adopted chose to do so.

I came across 2 recent cases, married young men who left the wives at home with no children and went overseas. Both wives later adopted sons to carry on the family name at home while the husbands remarried overseas and raised another family. Both cases the adopted sons married and had children. Years later the grandsons immigrated to America, they had not forgotten their "grandfather" and made efforts to travel across country to him or at least locate his grave to pay their respect.

Please don't get me wrong. I am grateful grandfather adopted my dad. If that did not happen, I wouldn't have a life in Canada, or even a life at all. I am second guessing my mother's reason to tell me that father was adopted when I was but a child. I spend my first 10 years with grandfather and loved the man. I am a Chow for half a century and didn't question it. something tripped and started to ask the question "ho am I?" neither my brother nor anyone else in the family have the same sentiment. thanks for the concern.

[tchow]

actually grandfather ancestral village was ™Mʯ´å, when the village gets too big a new settlement was established accross the river and was called “½­Àï (by the river ) less than 200 years ago. when father return to cChina from Canada in the 1930s to get marry he built a house and acquire some land in the new village. my grandfather's brother stayed in ™Mʯ´å and that half of the family still there. there may be other village that has the begining from ™Mʯ´å.

[tchow]

In response to Laohuagio¡¯s objection of me using the phrase ¡° I am not really one of them¡± I must admit the expression is inappropriate. It is a very intangible and personal feeling. Whenever someone express the desire to look for their biological family, he is automatically branded as an ingrate, ungrateful to the family that took care of him. The disdain is understandable. The Chinese have the phrase ðB¸¸±ÈÉú¸¸´ó has been pass around for thousands of years. I will never dispute that. In facts we all have two families. One that give us birth and one that took care of us. In most cases the two families are one of the same. When a woman gets married , she has two families and love them both. We can¡¯t ask her to forget her maiden family. If they were lost, she has every right to find them. Part of my past is missing and I don¡¯t mean any disrespect to all my childhood friends and inhabitants in “½­Àï and all the Chows. The more I explain , the worst it get. Isn¡¯t it.