|
|
Post by tenbulls on Dec 13, 2012 16:11:07 GMT -5
My dad and I are planning to visit both my paternal and maternal grandparents' villages sometime in the not-too-distant future. But we have some concerns on which I'm hoping some of you wise people could give some insight! - My dad speaks passable Taishanese while I only understand it (speaking is quite difficult). I would hazard a guess that Mandarin isn't really spoken (my Mandarin is barely passable). Would this be a huge barrier? - We also don't know about/don't have any real tradition in our family of paying respects to ancestors in the traditional way (joss sticks, food, money offerings, etc). Would it be improper for us to visit without doing all these things? How would we even know where to start if we had to do these things? - To our knowledge, we don't have any family remaining in China at all. Would this be a big problem for when we visit? - Is visiting a village safe? While we are not flashy by any means, other members of my family (who are against the idea of our visiting China) say that once villagers find out what you do/where you're from, they'll demand money from you or something like that. Although I find it hard to believe... is there any truth to this? Also, apparently, my paternal grandfathers' home is in shambles and my father is also worried they may ask us to pay up to fix it or to surrender it to the gov't. Is this a legitimate concern? Thanks!  |
|
|
|
Post by helen on Dec 13, 2012 17:21:00 GMT -5
Once you locate the village that you want to visit, you will have no problems. In November I assisted a fellow Kiwi find his roots. He had done all the leg work in NZ and found loose family connections here. Once that was established, he was given an introduction to a relative in China. Another memebr of our group also joined him in locating his other family - all in all we found his relatives over 3 villages, all within coee of each other.
I would not listen to rumours that people will demand money. In fact they will be more wealthier than us. The money they have over there is amazing. Their lifestyle is great - so have no fear.
With regards to the houses. In my experience, the old people will still live there, in the livable houses. Their children have move to a newer part of the village, and grandchildren have probably have gone to the city, or overseas. You won't be aske to repair any building. If there are people living in the house, they may be distant relatives to you - the early generation having abandoneded them, never to return.
Please take the opportunity to visit with an open heart - and best wishes to you in locating your family hisotry. Please keep us posted on what ever happen.
Douglaslam can vouch for the villagers - and their kindness. He has returned a few times already.
|
|
|
|
Post by chansomvia on Dec 15, 2012 4:10:36 GMT -5
Having been back from visiting our village in Haiyan I fully endorse what Helen has written.The hardest part is to actually make the decision to go, we are so used to travel with confirmed bookings and definite destinations and appointments with people. There is the fear of getting out of our comfort zone and meeting distant relatives who live in a different environment and speak a language which we may not be familiar with. Things are not made easier by the rumours of people demanding money, the poor sanitation and sanitary habits, uncouth manners etc.
As Helen has pointed out the villagers living conditions has improved tremendously, they have money and also the pride; they will buy and pay for the food and treat us genuinely as long lost relatives, in many cases they will not accept red packets for service rendered but will accept when given to the kids and also as an unsolicited gift.
We found one village, the people there do not have road and street maps but have mobile phones where they will contact each other, one thing leads to another and suddenly we do not have the time to meet all the relatives. Internet is quite common and we are in touch by email.
A lot of houses are not lived in, for many reasons, but mainly due to the exodus of the more enterprising people to find a better living away from the village, and the loss of youngsters who have to study in the cities and are reluctant to return. It is extremely unlikely that you would be asked to repair the building, unless you want to live there yourself. Most of those occupying the old buildings have moved on to newer buildings with airconditioners and flush toilets.
As Helen states, do go and see for yourself, do not go there with pre-conceived ideas, or measure the life there against your own, do your own thing and try not to listen to rumours. You will be surprised and leave with the satisfaction of finding for yourself.
Joe
|
|
|
|
Post by douglaslam on Dec 15, 2012 4:28:18 GMT -5
I concur with what Helen and Joe have said. I just returned from China, and visited villages other than my own. What I encountered was unbridled welcome, hospitality, and openness. You are talking about the Mao years when people were starving, in privation, and they saw any overseas visitors as saviours.
Did you know in Hong Kong, the biggest spenders who lap up the luxury goods are the people from the mainland? Times they are a-changing.
|
|
|
|
Post by tenbulls on Dec 15, 2012 13:28:01 GMT -5
Having been back from visiting our village in Haiyan I fully endorse what Helen has written.The hardest part is to actually make the decision to go, we are so used to travel with confirmed bookings and definite destinations and appointments with people. There is the fear of getting out of our comfort zone and meeting distant relatives who live in a different environment and speak a language which we may not be familiar with. Things are not made easier by the rumours of people demanding money, the poor sanitation and sanitary habits, uncouth manners etc. As Helen has pointed out the villagers living conditions has improved tremendously, they have money and also the pride; they will buy and pay for the food and treat us genuinely as long lost relatives, in many cases they will not accept red packets for service rendered but will accept when given to the kids and also as an unsolicited gift. We found one village, the people there do not have road and street maps but have mobile phones where they will contact each other, one thing leads to another and suddenly we do not have the time to meet all the relatives. Internet is quite common and we are in touch by email. A lot of houses are not lived in, for many reasons, but mainly due to the exodus of the more enterprising people to find a better living away from the village, and the loss of youngsters who have to study in the cities and are reluctant to return. It is extremely unlikely that you would be asked to repair the building, unless you want to live there yourself. Most of those occupying the old buildings have moved on to newer buildings with airconditioners and flush toilets. As Helen states, do go and see for yourself, do not go there with pre-conceived ideas, or measure the life there against your own, do your own thing and try not to listen to rumours. You will be surprised and leave with the satisfaction of finding for yourself. Joe Thanks for your reply. It will reassure my family to know these things - they are mainly the ones fretting over these unsubstantiated claims. I personally don't believe the rumours or anything like that, but then again I'm completely removed from that generation. I don't have any issues with "unsanitary" conditions or getting out of my comfort zone. I'm still young and adventurous (24 yrs old) and recently came back from backpacking in SE Asia, so pit toilets and being in a completely foreign place are not concerns at all. The latter is actually exciting! I concur with what Helen and Joe have said. I just returned from China, and visited villages other than my own. What I encountered was unbridled welcome, hospitality, and openness. You are talking about the Mao years when people were starving, in privation, and they saw any overseas visitors as saviours. Did you know in Hong Kong, the biggest spenders who lap up the luxury goods are the people from the mainland? Times they are a-changing. Thanks for your reply. Indeed, it is Mao-era mentality, and not one that I harbour myself. I'll explain: my maternal grandparents experienced the early days of the Chinese Revolution firsthand, and thus associate China with the instability of that era. They taught their children to never go back to the "motherland," as it's a dangerous, evil place. That paranoia didn't really exist on my father's side (in fact, they are the ones who had more connections to China), but I suppose after being around my mother's family for so long, it had to have rubbed off a bit. I'm posting on these boards on behalf of my family as much as for my own interest. Thanks for bearing with me. And yes, I'm very aware of the rich mainlanders. I live in Vancouver BC, Canada. ;D What about the ceremony and the lack of extended family? Like I said, we are almost 100% sure that we have no family in China left. Maybe some acquaintances from ages back (probably acquainted with my grandparents or uncle), but no one very close. Would it then be strange to pop in for a visit? Also, my family has no experience/knowledge about traditional Chinese ceremonies, esp regarding ancestors. Is that ceremony more or less a requirement during one's visit? How would it be arranged? Thanks again! |
|
|
|
Post by helen on Dec 15, 2012 14:13:41 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by amy on Jan 11, 2013 22:22:41 GMT -5
I organized a family trip to my ancestral village for the first time last year. As an American-born Chinese, it seemed like a daunting endeavor. But, once I started planning and talking about it, I was amazed at how many people were willing and able to help me (starting with people on this online bulletin board). Old friends and distant relatives of my deceased parents and my own friends and acquaintances who had been to Toisan before -- all went above and beyond the call of duty to help.
And, don't worry about the rituals. If you do locate distant relations/friends in the village, they can help arrange the incense, candy, chicken, firecrackers, etc. to place at the altar of the family home if you ask (and pay for it -- not very much money really, by western standards). But, it's perfectly fine to go and just look/walk around, take photos -- just be respectful. Some of my friends who no longer have a living connection to their village have done this. The villagers I met along the way were all kind, open, friendly and respectful. No one held out a hand to ask for a red envelope or forced us to buy anything for/from them. In fact, when we offered red envelopes to folks who genuinely helped us, they were gracious and seemed even a little embarrassed to accept.
The economy in the rural villages is quite different from what my parents left behind. In my father's old home, there was a refrigerator, running water, and a computer. (I really didn't expect that!).
Older folks (and that's usually who's left in the farming villages these days - younger ones have left for factory jobs in the cities!) are usually happy to chat with you. And, we were pleasantly surprised that a number of them still remembered my parents even though it had been 60+ years since they left!
As others have already said, go with an open heart and mind (and hire a good local driver/guide - LOL). It will be a trip you will treasure forever.
|
|
